PRESIDENT’S CABINET DISCOVERED TO BE FULL OF IDIOTS
In shocking news which has left the Aso Rock Security Forces bewildered and reeling from shock, the president’s cabinet has been discovered to be full of idiots.
SS Chief of Operations Officer, General Kalu, released the following statement.
“In a security breach which threatened the very safety of our country, President Goodluck’s Cabinet was discovered, this morning, to be full of idiots.
The cabinet is large oak-paneled double-doored wardrobe, which rests in the official sitting room beside the Oluma Rock painting, and has, for some time, been empty.
In fact, it has been locked. I know this because at the last Independence Day Party, I tried to hide in there during the Hide and Seek exercise and could not gain access.
I later hid at the end of the hallway behind the potted ferns. This was not very comfortable. The distinguished Minister for Petroleum and the Honorable Senator Gandu had already chosen this spot to hide.
By some careful maneuvering, they were able to make room for me. I remember we crouched there for the better part of two hours until the Minister for Education, Mr. Enegbe, grew suspicious and happened upon us.
But I digress. The president’s cabinet, I was saying, is under lock and key. So it was with amazement we received the news that the cleaners had been scared by indistinct mumbling proceeding from it this morning.
As soon as the alarm was raised, the Army Chief, the SS Captain on duty, and myself, all rushed to the scene. We stood there for a minute reconnoitering the premises and making sure all flanks were covered.
Then we cast lots. Fortunately it fell on Captain Chiroma, so he opened up the cabinet and discovered it to be not just empty, but quite full of people.
Further investigation revealed these people to be complete idiots. We questioned them, and I must say we weren’t impressed at all:
They had no idea how to develop the power sector. They had no suggestions as to whether the fuel subsidy would make us look good. They could not even inform us of their thoughts on national security.
All in all, I must say I was a tad disappointed.
The build up had been rather misleadingly exciting.
We have released the poor blundering fools back into the peace and tranquility of the general public with a firm warning not to appear in any TV shows, or make any music.
But this, judging by the what we see today, is a restriction we haven’t been to good at enforcing.